I was away for the weekend and largely out of touch,
save for some on-the-road retro.
Coming back rested and refreshed I thought I'd dabble in both new games with fresher eyes.
I did the unthinkable with (tee-he)eFootball: I played online. Since it became technologically possible I think I've played a stranger online about five times. But there's fuck all else to do with the game.
When I was little I used to laugh at my parents as - whenever they'd humour me and take part in a two-player game - they would raise and lower and wave the pad as if it gave them extra power, unable to comprehend that all the running and jumping was merely the subtle, casual pressing of buttons.
Fast forward nearly 30 years and here's me doing the same. I was wrestling the controller so much that I was half-expecting Earl Hebner to show up. You don't play eFootball, it plays you. I felt sorry for my opponent (as well as myself) because the game abandons you and your attempts to play football. Pass receivers switching off and letting the ball roll out of play is one of the biggest crimes, and that's on top of the preposterously sluggish ordeal that is playing a pass to begin with.
If you're going to 1v1 defending you better make sure the player switching & defender wake up are on point otherwise you're just powerless to defend against the most basic of attacks and end up conceding frustratingly sloppy goals because the mechanics let you down.
A bazillion times this. The player you switch to is almost always on their heels and/or facing the wrong way. By the time they're under control they're redundant as you've switched to the next corpse. Rinse and repeat... Your best form of defence is the game's incompetence in attack, waiting for it to screw your opponent over with an especially snail-like pass or abandonment of the ball.
I won 1-0 but we both lost for bothering. It's almost certain my opponent felt the same frustrations as I did as it was evident he was struggling with the same issues.
Usually I can see why people like a game even if I don't. Not here. Even though I do see some signs of life, so what. They mean nothing in the wider context when so many whopping flaws make it unplayable.
The game's gone, but I'm sticking around for the fallout!