An old dear "popped her clogs" in the Tesco I called into on the way back from a meeting today... They had the isle coned off with a blanket over the cadaver...
There were two members of staff a police woman and a couple of other people standing around near the body, and the usual crowd of on lookers. I reached just inside the coned to get some Celery.... Big mistake, the two staff came zooming over to tell me to step back behind the bollards, I said I just needed some celery, I was met by much tutting and whispers from the crowd and the two staff looked at me like I'd just battered the old dear to death with a frozen turkey!.
They said I could not pass the cones or get anything from the isle, so using logic I baffled them by asking one of them to please pass me some celery.. Feck me the crowd were in-sensed the two women started spouting comments like show some respect and how could I think of celery at a time like this!etc.. The Police women by the way was trying very hard not to laugh at this point... Beginning to fear I may be the next Tesco stiff at this rate I thought better of saying "I'm sure the dead dear would not begrudge me a few sticks of celery and asking why it was fine to buy Onions on my side of the cone and yet two inches inside the cone shopping was a mortal sin". And went on my way with a polite "thank you for your help" and a "It's cheaper at ASDA anyway" quip for good measure... Fortunately ASDA had an abundance of celery and not a "stiff" in sight...